On Mothers

Whew. I just dropped my demanding, detail-oriented, looks 10 years younger than she is, Mother off at the airport after a whirlwind celebration of her 60th Birthday. We drank wine, tried on bridesmaids dresses for my friend's wedding, went to work for a few hours, shopped at her favorite discount retailer, and got lots of coconut oil. I've come to an appreciation of her. My mother has a great eye for fabric, always has an encouraging word, takes whatever pieces of my closet she'd like, and moves things to be just where she wants them.

She's exacting, careful, and mission-driven. Whether it's time to clean, eat, sleep, or get ready, she adores the finer things (if they are on sale). Last night, instead of going out in the cold, she called the family over for an indoor picnic. We had wings, tater tots, wine, and homemade cake. It was the best birthday ever, she sad. We didn't have to go out and show off to other people, just chill in my apartment, make jokes, and love each other. It was beautiful.
A friend lost his mother recently and told me that he just misses "being mothered." There's no one to check on him every 15 minutes or call him out. He misses seeing the pride that she has in him. It's a close loss, a devastating loss, and a painful loss. I can't imagine his pain, but I can't shield him from it. I can just be there. It's complex, but ultimately it's simple.

Our mothers occupy a unique space in our past, present, and future. I am my mother. I'm just as dogged and intense as she is. But, I'm not my mother. I'm not emotional, sometimes I feel like I've aged faster, and I appreciate different things. I don't ask for permission, I take what I want. But, I often find I need to ask for forgiveness. Over the years, we've become more like sisters. We laughed heartily at watching "Downton Abbey." She noted how much it resembled her childhood in England. We went to Zumba together and shook our money-makers. We had a GOOD time. But, I'm also acutely aware, in a new way, that every moment is precious.

Just my Thoughts...

J.

The War on Women

So, apparently the GOP tactic for this election stretches beyond their typical approach of attacking "guns, god, and gays." Instead, they have decided that it makes sense to use their power to attack women in several ways.

First, Virginia decides that any woman seeking an abortion must have a trans-vaginal ultrasound first. Why? It's an invasive, uncomfortable procedure. Does the Virginia legislature have a chamber full of doctors or just insatiably cruel politicians? I'll go with the latter.

Secondly, birth control. Can my readers raise your hands if you think that coverage for birth control is a BAD idea? The same Republicans who stand opposed are not exactly sanctioning welfare coverage either. I need to understand...we don't want birth control, but we also don't want to educate and support children either. I'm confused.

Thirdly, today's incident around Rush Limbaugh calling a Georgetown Law student a "slut" for demanding coverage of birth control. Oh, it gets better. Instead of just being a slut, he decides that she must be a "prostitute" for wanting her birth control covered. Gross. He's just gross. Why is this a new idea and why are you slandering a college student, Mr. Limbaugh? I stand confused.

So, as we realize the elections in a few months, please remember to stand up. The United States should be a global leader in these issues. However, we have less women in office than many developing nations. Women still make $0.71/$1.00 as a man to woman ration, and it's the year 2012. We can do better. We must do better. The feminist in me is angry. The scholar is angry. But, more importantly, the daughter, friend, sister in me...just angry. Let's end the war on women..it's a time that has long passed.

~J

She is Returned

Hi Team,

I'm trying to return to writing. I have a lot to say, and a special, lovely person has been encouraging me to "open my bottle" and let out my voice. So, I'll be coming over here, linking this with my twitter and delivering my thoughts and ideas.

Happy Reading.

~Miss J

Give More Love

Happy New Year! I had greens and black eyed peas on New Year's day. One is for dollars and one is for change. Don't even get me started on Change - it's the year for that. I'm undergoing change. I'm on job search, day 4 and I've still been really busy. I think I have post-employment stress disorder, which is fairly cool given that I'm getting a solid payout. However, I'm working to identify my safety net, and soon. Being picky about a job in an economy where 2 million jobs were lost is probably not wise, but Crazy Miss J is well...crazy.

This year, I'm giving back. As my pastor says, "it's nice to be nice." So I'm shouting out the barista at Mocha Hut on U Street. She's awesome, always nice, always witty and edgy enough to make an unemployed, over-educated person like me feel good on a bad to. I raise my soy chai (which is the butteriest chai in DC, in case you were wondering) to you, awesome barista lady!

Alright, back to working on work,

Crazy Miss J

Seriously? A Race War? Over Roland Burris.

So, after watching the mess that was Blago's last press conference, i was grossed out. We, as African-Americans, on the heels of our biggest victory in American History are going to let Rod Blagojevich become the architect of our next race war? And now? After Bobby Rush championed Mr. Burris, tap-danced for him (http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/30/burris.transcript/) - he wants to take this to the Congressional Black Caucus? What do you think? I think it's a mess and we need to drop it. As a Black person, we now know that we don't have to shuck and jive for a Senate seat, so let's quit.

Mr. Burris, grow some dignity, and a spine and leave it alone. Mr. Rush, please take some time away. Run, don't walk away from Blago, leave the CBC out of it. Give our new President an inauguration gift and go home, sit down and cheer from afar. You've done enough.

Dumb as S**T

Everyone has their S**tlist, but this year's is extra-grand. Here are the people on mine. I keep screaming out loud - that person is D-A-S, so here goes.

10. Britney Spears - I am secretly rooting for her, but her special "On the Record," only to be topped by the foolishness she made with her husband Kevin proves to me that she's truly, in a word - dumb.
09. Rap music. Don't hate - it's gotten bad. With the exception of some Lil' Wayne, nothing has been really solid. C'mon, you know you like "Mrs. Officer" as much as I do.
08.Dictators (Robert Mugabe, Hugo Chavez, etc.) Stop killing your own people, go home, get a job elsewhere - people are dying, and it's your fault.
07.Jesse Jackson - Your time has passed, and the Lord let you live to see it. Please take your rightful place in history, no more open mics, no more tears - watch and learn.
06.Amy Winehouse- Put the crack down. I like your music, but your weekly crack sprints are bringing us all down. Go back to signing - it can't be THAT bad.
05.Eliot Spitzer - Seriously? You were governor of New York, fully anti-corruption, and you lost your office for some tail? Bad Move.
04. You. Stop Speinding Money, start saving. Stop buying stuff you can't afford (trust me, I'm included). Fortunately, you also elected a new president, otherwise you'd be Number 1.
03.Sarah Palin - She set the women's movement back 40 years, AND we share a favorite shoe designer - unfortunate. Described by David Gergen as a "sugar high that falls off very quickly," she really killed it this year. God Bless her.
02. Rod Blagojevich - You are DUMB. I don't want to buy a Senate seat, and even if I did, I know where to go. For your reference, see George Ryan, your immediate predecessor, who is serving jail time.
01. George W. Bush - Yeah, you can dodge a shoe, but I firmly believe that Barney the Scottish Terrier has been running the country, and you've had better things to do. Now, I'm jobless, hopeless, and broke - and not better off than I was 8 years ago. Doin' a heckuva job, Bushie.

The X-Box killed my Christmas. Yup - it sure did. After freaking out about losing/quitting my job, carrying a disproportionate part of my six-person family's stress and after years upon years of taking on the whole bunch's cooking, cleaning, and coordinating - I refused to do it this year. I didn't have the mental space, resources, or desire to mediate all the disputes in a family whose median age is 33.8.

Therefore, we all did as we usually do - tried to escape. The trip from DC to Atlanta was instantly complicated because we had my brother's friend riding with us. Then, the trip was delayed for a day (I needed to chill - last day of work was Friday, still emotional), so brother #3 left with a friend instead. Suffice to say, things have gone from bad to worse. I don't know if it's the latent chauvanism in my male-dominated family or our lack of respect for each other, but there is no middle ground of communication, respect, and agreement. No zone of possible agreement.

While we were preparing dinner, I asked my brothers to turn down, stop playing, find some Christmas music instead of playing "Gears of War." Mind you, they played this game for about 14 hours during Thanksgiving while I slaved in the kitchen and, given our limited time together, it was really a waste of precious hours. After asking continually to turn the game down, I flipped. Please turn it down and put on some Christmas music. I know that all four men heard me when I asked the first five times, and until I scream, no one listens. Not only did that turn the attention from the game, but then I was made to be the crazy one. At 8pm on Christmas Eve, I need some Christmas, chainsaw-wielding, mercenaries are not related to the Baby Jesus, and I'm not flexible on such things. I don't know how else to get through, but I am excited that four of us will be heading to Hilton Head, South Carolina tomorrow for some R&R.

It's much needed. I know your holiday is just as crazy, but you don't want to admit it. It's ok. I won't tell anyone. Your secret holiday hell is safe with me.

It's been a long time coming.

So, I picked up my Essence magazine this month with the beautiful Barack Obama on the cover - The black woman's bible, as it were. And, then I cried. As black people, we have been waiting a long time for change. Now it's here, but what does it mean. My life has changed in that I quit my job (kinda), and I'm concerned about saving money. The economy also shed 500,000 jobs last month. Great. I'm not worried. I was, but after my awesome friends have told me how awesome I am, I feel much better.

I also discovered the virtue of Shopper's Food Warehouse. Don't knock it until you try it. More than anything, I'm trying to find my way in the world. When people ask me what I want to do -I just don't know - give the world a cookie, heal once child at a time. The answer, do good and do well. I'm just not, at this point in my life, going to kill myself. I think that's totally fair. Now, after a year and a half of 10-12-14 hour days, I'm just left with myself. I hope I can put together the broken pieces and move forward. Change - yes, it is coming.

Oh yeah, my old blog- Damsel in DC, is done. But I'm going to be changing this name here soon. Should it be. 1. Afrobabe - 2. Georgia Peach -Fresh. Ripe. Juicy 3. Auctoritas -nah, I'll save that for my consulting business.

Pregnant? huh? Governor Palin's daughter is pregnant. Which - according to this Washington Post Article (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/01/AR2008090100710_2.html?sid=ST2008090101074&s_pos=) is perfectly ok if you come from a "good"family. The latent racism in this article is just apalling. When a conservative, white girl from Alaska has an "accidental pregnancy," it's a by-product or oversight. But, when it's a black, poor girl, she's from a bad family, destined for welfare, etc. It's a hot mess...nuff said.

Raising Money

There are 11 Days to go until Kenya. The priority right now is to raise money for my scholarship fund.

We are raising money for two girls, Millicent and Ruth (http://www.uhuruopen.com/new-girls.php).

Personally, I believe we can raise enough so I will personally present a check of $1300 US to the Alliance Girls High School and empower these talented young women in their educational pursuits. Every little bit that we can raise helps –from a donation of $25.00 (that’s just lunch for one week) to $500, I know that we can make this happen.

I hope that you will partner with me in giving through the link provided:
(http://www.uhuruopen.com/new-donations.php).

Asante Sana

Less than two weeks to go. ..

Until what, you say? Until kenya. That's right - AfroBabe is headed to Kenya, the Motherland, Nairobi - I am on my way. On January 1st, I am finally fulfilling a dream - leaping, and hoping the net will appear on my trip to Kenya. I will be staying with the family of a friend, which I hope is ok, and I am looking forward to it.

I am trying to finish all of my papers and finals in time for my two week excursion. Look for updates on the following:

1. Countdown to Kenya
2. Amsterdam for 3 hours
3. Nairobi

More to Come...

~J

PVD

That's right, I have it. PVD stands for, "post-vacation depression." I have been back from my vacation for over two weeks and the sweet tonic of sun,sand, and sin will not leave me. I have told everyone about my Jamaican vacation and I still can't get it out of my system. I don't know why. Maybe it is the complete lack of culture in Cambridge. Maybe it is the drudgery of school. I don't know what's wrong with me, but something is wrong. I just don't care about stuff anymore. My writing has fallen off, my class attendance is slacking, and all I can think about are plane tickets to Negril. Stop me before I vacation again.

JAG

Dang. It has been a long time since I have posted anything. However, I don't think anybody reads this blog, which is ok. I am mad stressed. I don't have enough hours in the day to do what I want/need to do, and it is starting to work on my nerves. The guy I had a crush on is married and, well in Boston, they turn on the lights at nightclubs at 2am, which is stupid. There. Next post will be nicer...or not.

J

Did I tell you about the slammin' new year's party in DC?

Well, when you mix burgeoning intellectuals, a few cool gay guys, my tightest girls, and my conservative Christian friend from 3 rd grade you get...a party.

Happy New Year!

2006 is going to be awesome or
better than 2005 at least.

Hope you are happier and healthier this year.

J

Done.
I am over. I am done. Vacation is nice, but I am on to full-fledged boredom, complete ennui. The presents have been wrapped, the dinner has been made, I have overeated, my Mom has thrown a tantrum, and my brothers are avoiding real life. I can't watch any more "Oprah." I watch the TV news twice a day, and don't even put on real shoes. I am not getting any skinnier or making anymore money. The funny thing is...I have plenty or work to do, but I would rather play the Sims 2 and pretend that I don't have work to do, weight to lose, or money to make.

Happy New Year (I'll be celebrating in DC)
Staying in denial until 2006.

~J

Right now I am "chillin hard" at home. It's kind of nice. I ate lime-flavored tostitos, rasberry cheesecake, bran muffins and spicy tuna. Accordingly, I feel quite sick right now. But, my Christmas shopping is complete. More importantly, I find that my house is the only place where I can really read to my heart's delight. I am reading "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. It is a masterpiece about the last 40 years of Afghan history. I highly recommend this book to those of you who want a firsthand account of the demise of a culture. I don't have a book picked for next week, but I will keep you posted.

Happy Holidays!

Thank GOD. My econ. final is over. Now all I have is statistics. Did I mention I took up belly dancing yesterday? I have the belly for it. But, once or twice a month I try to incorporate fitness into my schedule. I am trying to start pre-NEw YEar instead of right at the new year. But I will keep you posted on how it goes. Back to work.

BTW, I only watched one episode, but "Nip/Tuck" is a really twisted, highly-addictive show. Check it out, you will see what I mean.

SAd. Tookie's appeals were rejected. I can't really believe he is being executed. I suppose he should have apologized. I always say please and thank you. But, murdering four people with a sawed-off shotgun is serious.

I am so tired today, but I realizedthat the more I stay at the KSG, the more I like the people here. I think that is good. I have a final tomorrow, so I must turn in, but I swear I had something to say. I asked the boy out to lunch - no response thus far, but here's today's quote:

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. - George Bernard Shaw

I agree. Good Night

~Maverick

Alright, so I WAS trying to be more zen, but that went out the window. I am hosting some friend for brunch at my house and I think I made WAY too much food, WAY too much. Now, at the 11th hour, people are bailing, which is ok. They just don't know how good it will be, they will make it next year, that's for sure. Anyway, I am still hyperventilating, but I know the guy I kinda like won't be there, so that alleviates some pressure. He is so nice, y'all. Although he is way private and a little socially awkward, he's just so damn cute. I always feel so much better about life after talking to him. I also leave confused, I am going to work the friend angle - he's awesome and after talking to him, I feel awesome. He laughs at all my jokes. But, I won't stress, too much, right now, yet.
Back to reality, my ipod headphones crapped out, my futon frame broke (it's been going for awhile - since my 300+, 6'4" brother jumped on it), and my head is blazing. But, because my friend said brunch will be great, brunch will be great. I'll give you the update tomorrow.

So much for being zen.

~(alias forthcoming)